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- Obey the road rules if you can work out what they are
- Maintain direction no matter what
- Remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
- Expect the totally unexpected
- Do not be surprised when a 10-metre boat slung on a pole between two motor cycles crosses the expressway in front of you.
- Do not be surprised if, despite bird flu, a flock of ducks suddenly fills the entire the highway
- Do not be surprised if a laden bus (or anything else) comes at you on the wrong side of an expressway.
- Red traffic lights often seem to be only advisory
- Do not stop immediately on a red light or someone behind will run into you
- The man with the two full-size refrigerators on the back of his mortor cycle is NOT going to stop at a red light.
- Traffic roundabouts are only a slight inconvenience to traffic
- It’s quite reasonable to go the wrong way up one-way streets
- When doing something totally stupid like going the wrong way up a one-way street or into oncoming traffic, blast away on your horn
- Ride with a finger pressed almost continuously on the horn since this is easier than obeying road rules
- Just because you have four on the bike and are going the wrong way up a one-way street does not mean the police will stop you
- Lights are not used during the day because they use too much electricity
- Traffic lights can often be hidden behind trees or signs
- “No left turn” signs are usually inconspicuous and can be moved from time to time
- Just because you are turning left and on the left side of the carriageway doesn’t mean someone will not pass you on the left to go straight ahead
- Just because someone is on the left side of the carriage-way in front of you does not mean they do not intend to suddenly turn right
- Ditto if they are on the right side of the road
- Just because there is a wall of motorbikes spanning both sides of the road facing you, don’t think you are necessarily heading into a one-way street.
- Just because there is a car bearing down on you on your side of the road doesn’t mean he’s on the correct side of the road
- Crash helmets are for putting in the basket at the front of your bike
- Remember most car drivers don’t own a cars – they own motorbikes and drive accordingly
- Double ditto for bus drivers
- If you are going to be hit by a car make sure it is not a government car
- Avoid foreigners since most are riding Russian bikes and need to keep going or the engine cuts out
- Avoid any drivers wearing a green hat as they are probably xe om drivers and thus feel they are right of way
