Are You Love Addicted?
Imagine that you have a little child – a son or daughter, but that you are only 15 years old. How are you going to feel about this child? There is a good possibility that you will feel that this child is a burden, limiting your freedom. You will likely feel that the child is too demanding, needing too much from you. You may want to go out and have fun and not be tied down to this child.
Is this how you feel about your own inner child – your own feelings and needs? Does i…
Emotions As Information
When you were a small child, your painful emotions may have felt too overwhelming to feel. If you experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, your little body was not big enough to manage the painful feelings. If you were neglected, unseen, misunderstood, invaded, smothered, shamed or ridiculed, it may have felt too painful to manage. If you were a highly sensitive child with parents who did not understand high sensitivity, you may have felt too much emotion to handle. …
From Loneliness To Connection
Dear Jane, I know a lot of people as acquaintances but I don’t seem to have close friends anymore. Everyone seems too busy. Sometimes I’m too busy to sit and listen. But then I feel lonely and isolated. Does everyone feel this way?
As a life coach for over 20 years, I have noticed that my clients are looking for more than insights or pearls of wisdom; they want a guarantee that they can trust that they will not have to vie for someone’s attention, that they will be heard a…
Giving Love, Getting Love, Giving To Get
Love. We need it from the moment we are born to thrive. We might survive but we do not thrive without abundant love. No wonder we work so hard to get it. No wonder we try to be perfect and do everything right to have control over getting love. No wonder we get anxious, angry or depressed when we do not get the love we need. No wonder we use numerous substance and process addictions to numb the pain when we feel alone and unloved.
When we were little, our parents or other c…
I Need A Partner To Be Happy
Do you believe that you need a partner to be happy? My client, Adrienne, an attractive woman in her 50’s, has been married and divorced twice. She was unhappy in both marriages, but she still believes that she needs a partner to be happy. This belief continually leads her into inappropriate relationships with men who initially come on strong, only to turn out to be emotionally needy, just like her.
The problem is we attract people at our common level of woundedness and our…
Living Out Loud
You Would Jump at Such an Opportunity, Wouldn’t You?
So, here’s the choice. We can stop here, now, and tread no further into the adventure of this lifetime, stunned into silence, by the storied fears within our heads, barren of exquisite feeling, satiated expression, and unqualified authenticity, inwardly aware, at least at some level, of what we have forsaken with our choosing, now and forever more, lost to this moment, this moment that only is. Or, we can walk, heads bow…
The Fear Of Being Alone
Gina consulted with me because her marriage was falling apart. She had discovered that her husband was having yet another affair, and when he was with her, he was either angry or withdrawn. She had requested numerous times that he join her in couples therapy, but he had no interest in healing their relationship.
Gina was financially independent and could easily leave. Their children were all adults. There was nothing to keep her in this marriage. Yet she was still there.
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The Need For Friendship And Community
As a life coach for over 20 years, I have noticed that my clients are looking for more than insights or pearls of wisdom; they want a guarantee that they can trust that they will not have to vie for someone’s attention, that they will be heard and cared about, and that they will be listened well to, without interruption and without feeling rushed.
Most of us don’t consider ourselves isolated or friendless. Yet, almost 25% of Americans say they don’t have even one close fri…
Using The Signposts Of Life To Discover A Better Way To Live
The day my partner and I redefined our dream for our future I became aware of a very significant fact.
The fact was stark: I was no longer going to be a fifty-fifty stakeholder in the financial arrangements, but a breadwinner with significant support.
I’ll be honest, the impact of what stood before me, caused me to take a very big swallow. In fact, I had to sit down and have a woe is me moment. I felt alone, even though I knew I wasn’t.
As I felt myself growing incre…
Learn How To Love Yourself
What does that mean to love yourself? Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself. You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself. First you need to develop your female energy : your Inner Mother, that part of you that is always caring, loving, accepting and understanding you. You also need to develop your inner masculine energy : your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world.